What if someone close to me has an eating disorder?

If you are worried about a friend or family member remember that it can be difficult for someone with an eating disorder to realize there is a problem. Often family and friends are the first ones to notice, but it is important to remain calm and non-judgmental. Communicate that you care for that person and that you will be supportive, regardless of his or her weight or eating habits. Two good next steps are to contact a health-care professional and to find information on eating disorders to share or discuss.

Set a time to talk

Set aside a time for a private, respectful meeting with your friend or family member to discuss your concerns openly and honestly in a caring, supportive way.

Communicate your concerns

Ask your friend or family member to explore these concerns you have with a counsellor, doctor, nutritionist, or other health professional who is knowledgeable about eating issues. If you feel comfortable doing so offer to help in making an appointment or accompany your friend or your family member on their first visit.

Avoid conflicts

If your friend or family member refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem or any reason for you to be concerned, restate your feelings and the reasons for them and leave yourself open and available as a supportive listener.

Avoid placing shame, blame, or guilt on your friend or family member regarding their actions or attitudes

Do not use accusatory “you” statements like, “You just need to eat” or, “You are acting irresponsibly” instead, use “I” statements. For example: “I’m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch” or, “It makes me afraid to hear you vomiting”.

Avoid giving simple solutions

For example, “If you'd just stop, then everything would be fine!”.

Express your support

Remind your friend that you care and want your friend to be healthy and happy.